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PEER PRESSURE AMONG TEENAGERS

27/09/2011 21:26

 Peer pressure can be positive or negative. If a teenager betrays personal beliefs and values, risk-taking behavior, engage in activities like smoking, drugs and alcohol, drawing him away from his family and school, it is a negative peer pressure or influence.
Peer pressure is the social influence in encouraging an individual to act or change his values or behavior in order to be in conformity with a group and the need to have the approval of such group.  This is particularly common to young people, because they spend most of their time with fixed group of friends. Teenagers are struggling to be independent from their parents and at the same time striving to be accepted by his friends.  Teenagers give in to peer pressure because they want to fit in or liked by their group friends or because they worry that other kids might make fun of them if they don’t conform within the group.  They are also curious to try something new that they see from others.  These influence kids to loose their common sense or judgment and blindly following their peers.  This is the most crucial part of a person’s life because a wrong judgment will greatly affect the future of the person.
Some of traits of a person that is more vulnerable to peer pressure are lacking of self-confidence, low self-esteem, poor performance and abilities in school, unsure of ones place in a group, feeling of isolation from friends, lack of strong ties with friends and family, close friendship with a bully.
Peer pressure can have a positive or negative effect on teenagers. If a teenager is grouped to people that seeks success in school or other positive activities and ambitious in attaining a good life in the future, he is pressured to follow suit, and improve himself, making him perform well in school or whatever activities he is involved in. In the long run, making him a better person.  However, if a teenager betrays personal beliefs and values, risk-taking behavior, engage in activities like smoking, drugs and alcohol, drawing him away from his family and school, it is a negative peer pressure or influence.
It is very difficult to go against these bad influences, but the teenager just needs to take a firm stand, and say “NO.”  Some people may not like it when you disagree, but doing the right thing is just what it needs to be.  Self-confidence in a teenager is most needed to enable to do this.  Having a friend or peer with good values is a great help to resist negative peer pressure.  Dealing with peer pressure successfully depends on the teenagers’ personality and character and support of family.

Co-dependency, the dysfunctional love relationship

26/09/2011 12:18

Co-dependency, the dysfunctional love relationship

Falling in love is a thrilling experience between two people.  Love is passion, intimacy and commitment. It is a relationship that encourages personal growth and the distinct experience of bonding and exploring each other leading to a deeper and long-term relationship.

Therefore, love should be a healthy relationship that nurtures the growth of each other, but sometimes it becomes unhealthy when a person becomes codependent with the other. According to Lawrence Wilson, MD, “Co-dependency refers to a common, but unhealthy addictive quality of some relationships in which the parties need or use each other to lean on, so to speak, rather than to enrich and assist each other.”

 It is characterized by overly taking care of the other that creates negative impact on the relationship and quality of life, sometimes too much or excessive care for the other that his own needs are least prioritized. Trying to hold desperately on to the other person, in the hope that their partner won’t leave them. In this kind of relationship, the person is too controlling, too aggressive, and too impulsive but may also be too nice and needy that makes the other timid, weak and unconfident.

 

Obsession is another characteristic of a codependent. Just like addiction, the drug addict craves for drugs or alcohol; the obsessed person craves for the object of his love. He makes all his decisions accordingly on the feelings and needs of the other person. Obsessed partner is always available and present to the point of annoying the other person. He also spies previous relationships by checking with mutual friends and other sources.  Interfere with the social life of the other; telling him whom to be friends with. Demonstrates disturbing and violent reactions and becomes unreasonably suspicious and jealous.  Successive giving of gifts, money, phone calls, texting, emails, or other forms of communication is also a sign of obsession.   The more time and effort exerted by the obsessed partner the obsession will become more intense. The most serious warning sign of an obsessed person is if he threatens suicide if the other person leaves him.  This condition needs a medical, professional help and counseling because it is a true mental disorder.

 

The signs of these obsessions are always not obvious during the first part of the relationship that we don’t recognize it until we are trapped. You are the only one who can put an end to this dysfunctional relationship that the co-dependent partner does not want you to shatter his enchantment over you.

 

 

 

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24/08/2011 15:12

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